


Sharknado: Oh Hell Yes!

by TitaniumKitten



Category: Professional Wrestling, World Wrestling Entertainment
Genre: A lot of people are going to die ok, Dean owns a bar, I don't know what I'm doing with my life, I make no promises, If you haven't seen any of the Sharknado movies you will be p confused, Look...there are tornados with sharks in them, Lots of Minor Character Death, M/M, Roman is a cop, Seth works at Astro X, Sharknado - Freeform, Slow Burn, Violence, Yes this is a Sharknado AU, some gore, your favorite might die
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-12-18
Updated: 2017-04-20
Packaged: 2018-09-09 08:43:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 5,507
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8884435
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TitaniumKitten/pseuds/TitaniumKitten
Summary: This is a WWE Sharknado AU. There will be lots of sharks, plenty of ridiculous deaths and a huge amount of silliness with our boys. Be prepared for plenty of cameos and craziness.





	1. Sharknado Rising

**Author's Note:**

> Oh boy, so this one has been hanging around for a while. And through the enabling of a certain person is getting a chapter posted before I intended to. Updates will be a little patchy, just fyi. Big old note at the end of this chapter explaining a little about the "world" this is set in. Enjoy, and may God have mercy on our souls.

** Tuesday Morning **

Seth Lopez sighed, rubbing his eyes before picking up a dry erase marker again and scribbling a few mathematical formulas down. Dissatisfied he sighed again, wiping the almost illegible symbols off the dry erase board and throwing the marker on the floor in a fit of pique. He heard a soft snort behind him and turned to see his co-worker, Bayley, giving him an unimpressed look from the doorway. She was holding two lidded styrofoam cups, and handed one to him as she entered the room. He gave a happy sigh in thanks as he sipped.

“God yes. A Triple Venti Half Sweet Non-Fat Caramel Macchiato. You know me too well.”

“Way too well. Have you been here all night?”

“Uh...maybe.”

Bayley gave him a disapproving stare, folding her arms over her chest.

“What have I told you about pulling all nighters? What if we got called into the field? You’d be useless.”

Seth blushed. “I got a couple hours sleep on the couch in the break room.”

“So useless and with a sore back too.” she retorted.

“Alright, alright” he grumbled. “No all nighters again, ok Bayley?”

“You still working on that algorithm for the new isotope?

Seth sighed. “Yeah. I’m hoping to make one that is more stable and long lasting than the one used to save Mount Rushmore. Enzo has been a great help, but...”

“But he actually goes home at the end of the day while you spend it here workin’ yourself ragged, how you doin’?” A brash voice sassed behind the dark haired woman.

“‘Zo!” Seth exclaimed happily. “I just got stuck on another permutation and need your help.”

Bayley threw up her hands as the two settled into an intense discussion. 

“I’m going to get breakfast from the cafeteria before I get sucked into dealing with you two mad scientists..” she declared.

Enzo quirked an eyebrow. “Pretty sure meteorologists workin’ at Astro-X are considered mad scientists too.”

She gave a long suffering sigh and stalked out of the room. “I’ll be back in twenty.”

“Better watch it, Enzo. I’ve seen her training with Kane lately. She could super kick your head off. She almost took out that corporate spy from McMahon Industries.”

Enzo snorts. “She try any of that and Cass’ll punt her into next week. And what is that, like the second spy this year?”

“Third. Those idiots are getting ridiculous. Should work on getting a good Research and Development team rather than trying to steal our work.”

“Well at least they are providing dummies for Bayley to practice on!”

They give each other a look and giggle before getting back to work.

* * *

Bayley wandered into the cafeteria, grabbing a tray and filling it with toast, yogurt, a banana and a glass of orange juice. 

She saw Kane sitting by himself, grumpily eating a bowl of oatmeal and she opted to sit down by the large man.

“Good morning, Kane. Where is your usual pile of bacon?” She asked a little mischievously.

“Doctor said my cholesterol is too high.” Kane grunted.

“Poor guy. I can suggest adding some fruit to that to make it tastier.”

“You mean tasty at all.” He complained.

She laughed. “How have things been going in the world of Astro X security since I saw you last?”

“Well, your efforts in trying to kick the hell out of that corporate spy were appreciated.” He answered, a rare chuckle coming from his lips.

Bayley blushed and tucked into her food. “Well, that jerk had it coming. Imagine trying to steal from us. _Again!_ ”

“I have a feeling that it isn’t the last we’ll see of interlopers from McMahon Industries.”

“Really? I would think after the third failed attempt they would just give up. Maybe try to come up with good ideas themselves. I don’t think that Stephanie McMahon is very nice.” She wrinkled her nose in thought.

“She is a hard woman. But anyone would have to be running a fortune 500 company.”

“But not everyone does things like spying do they?

“Not all of them I suppose. But enough.” Kane finished his oatmeal with a less than pleased face. 

“Would you have time to do some training in the afternoon?”

“I’ll be in the gym from three to four. You’re welcome to join.” He stood up and picked up his tray, giving her a nod as he made his way out of the cafeteria.

“See you then, big K!” she said, giving him a big smile. 

She wasn’t sure, but she thought she saw Kane flush a little as he made his way out of the cafeteria.


	2. A New Beginning

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So I've tried my best to research for Roman's character, any discrepancies just take into account this is written in a world where sharknados exist. ;)  
> [Join me on the hellscape of Tumblr if you like](http://titaniumkitten.tumblr.com)

**Tuesday Morning**

The sound of his phone going off wakes a slumbering Roman from a particularly nice dream. Grumbling, he grabs it from his night stand.

“ ‘Ello?”

“Dispatch. Got a 1099 in Encanto. Lieutenant Cena is calling your team in.”

Roman inwardly groaned. Of course on his day off there would be a situation. 

“On my way” he answered, waiting a beat for the “10-4” response before hanging up his phone.

Groaning aloud he slumped out of bed, stretching and wincing at the sound of his back popping. His cat Lita looked up from her perch on the end of the bed and stuck out one long furred leg, giving it several careful passes with her tongue. He chuckled and quickly grabbed some basketball shorts and a random t-shirt and slipped his feet into a pair of sandals. All his gear was at the station, so not much prep at home was required. Slaloming around several still unpacked boxes, he grabbed a granola bar from his kitchen and was out the door jogging to the elevator within a couple minutes. The change from Chicago to San Diego was still pretty jarring, even after three months, and he reveled in the faint salt air he could smell as he made his way to his car. He flipped on the siren and wove his way through early morning traffic, making it to the station in record time, or so he thought.

He was greeted in the SWAT locker room by the stares of three other members of his team, fully geared up. It seemed as though they had been waiting for him, and he flushed slightly. They had trained together exhaustively, but this was his first mission with the group and he was hoping to make a good impression. The slightly awkward silence at his entrance was softened by AJ Styles, their rear security, snickering.

“Really Reigns? Socks with sandals?”

Roman looked down at his feet and felt an irrational lick of anger flow through him. Yeah socks with sandals, what the hell was wrong with that? He folded his arms over his chest and locked eyes with AJ, giving a slight sneer.

“I don’t think you have much room to talk, Mr. Soccer Mom hair.” he replied, opening his locker and starting to change into his gear. 

A loud guffaw came from a burly brunette who was sitting on one of the benches adjusting his tactical vest, followed by the softer laughter of the green and red haired woman sitting next to him.

The burly brunette stood up, walking to Roman and clapping him on the shoulder. "HaHa! You have made fun of AJ! I like our new recruit!" he laughed in a thick eastern European accent.

AJ huffed and gave Roman a sneer back, but coupled it with a grin. 

“Ya got me there, big guy.” he admitted, running a hand through his hair. “Don’t encourage him, Rusev.”

Rusev laughed again. “I will always admire people who put you in your place.” 

Roman finalized his gun check and strapped on his utility belt as the rest of the group bickered happily. The door to the locker room opened and their Team Leader along with the last member of their group, a gigantic Irish cover man whose normal red mohawk was slicked back. They were a ragtag bunch, but Roman knew without a hint of narcissism that Lt. Cena had done his utmost to recruit the best in the country to be under his command. 

“Alright people, listen up! We’ve got a bank robbery. Suspect has barricaded themselves in. Hostage negotiators already on scene, but we need to be there if things go sideways or if the site commander makes a call for us penetrate the building.” Cena explains. 

Sheamus snickers and Cena gives him a withering glance. 

“Six years on this team and you still giggle like a damn teenager any time I say the word penetrate.” Cena grouses. 

Sheamus shrugs his shoulders, grinning. The rest of the team chuckles while Cena rolls his eyes and huffs.

“Let’s get going guys. Asuka, you’re up front with me. The rest of you idiots pile in the back.”

As they ride out to the site, Roman thinks about the course of his life that brought him to San Diego. Happy to be back closer to family, having grown up in Soledad, he still felt a pang of loss as to what had brought him back to the area. He had been a lovesick pup, following the self proclaimed CM Punk to Chicago. He’d found a stressful but fulfilling job with the Chicago Police Department as an officer and part time on call SWAT team member, and settled down to what he had assumed would be domestic bliss. The increasing verbal abuse over the next two years, culminating in him catching Punk balls deep in some idiot named Dalton Castle ended his dreams quite abruptly. When an almost identical position presented itself several weeks after the “Dalton incident” he had eagerly submitted his resume to the San Diego Police Department. A few days later a phone interview, then a sit down interview, and next thing he knew he was slowly unpacking all his possessions and trying to get a seriously annoyed Lita to acclimate to a new apartment. 

He was snapped out of his reverie by the sound of the car doors opening and he checked his M4 as he scrambled out. Several dozen voices swirled around him as he followed the rest of his team to the site commander's tent. Cena was talking animatedly with several men whose uniforms indicated they were well above Roman’s pay grade. He stood with Sheamus, Rusev, Asuka and AJ, waiting for orders. AJ took out a pack of gum, fitting a piece between his teeth and chewing.

“This your first rodeo, kid?” He asked Roman.

“Well, you already know it is here. Had a few I worked in Chicago. Was the scout for the Lesnar incident last year.” 

AJ whistles. “Damn that was a nice piece of work. The dude had how many people hostage?”

Roman tries not to preen under the praise. “Twenty three. All out alive with minimal injuries.”

“You the one who beat him?” Asuka asks.

“Uh yeah.” He mutters, embarrassed. 

Now it’s Sheamus’ turn to sound impressed. “You took that hunk a meat down with hand to hand combat?!”

Roman shrugs. “He forced me and my partner to disarm. Had a kid and was threatening to choke them to death. Kid bit his hand and managed to get free. So I just tackled the bastard and started swinging.”

“Remind me to not be on your bad side!” Rusev boomed. 

They waited for about an hour and finally heard from the hostage negotiator that the suspect is willing to surrender. They set up in formation making slow careful movement towards the door of the bank. It slowly opens and Roman smoothly drops down to a knee in unison with Sheamus and Rusev, training their guns on the door. Asuka and Cena inch closer. A scruffy looking wild eyed man with two toned hair staggers out, his hands above his head, complying quickly as Cena calls for him to lay on his stomach. Asuka knees him in the back, securely fastening handcuffs around his wrists. He’s handed off to one of the other officers and Roman vaguely hears the man yelling about someone or something called “skarsgard”. The man said he was working alone, but they follow protocol and clear the building. The eleven hostages are freed with little more than a scratch here and there. Roman is happy at how seamlessly they all worked together as they talk and bicker on their way back to the station. He worked well with his Chicago PD brethren, but he gets the feeling that he may have found more of a family here.


	3. Chapter 3

** Tuesday Afternoon **

“Hey Becks, a little help here?” called a gravely voice.

“Comin’ right up, boss!” chirped the Irish accented voice of the orange haired young woma behind the bar. She ran to the door to the backroom, taking a case of beer off the top of the pile “the boss” is trying to carry. “There’s your problem, D. Even with those muscles you shouldn’t be tryin’ to carry that much.” she snarks.

“Thanks for the advice, Becks.” he replies. He sets the rest of the cases on the copper bar top and starts organizing them into the coolers behind the bar.

“You’re workin’ too hard, D.” she observes. “I can see the bags under your eyes. You need to let Mick take his fair share.”

“You know he’s had health problems, Becky. I’m not about to let him work himself to death.”

She purses her lips. “Those health problems cleared up six months ago. And your “not letting him work himself to death” is translating to not letting him work at all. I’ve noticed he’s been a little antsy lately and now I know why.”

He sighs. “Fine, fine. I’ll have Mick open next week. Will that get you off my back?”

“Nah. I’ll always be nagging ya. That’s what I’m supposed to do.”

“Supposed to, huh?” Dean grins, lunging at her and starting to give her a noogie. “That’s what you get, Red!”

Becky giggles and reaches a hand out, tickling Dean’s ribs. He yelps and lets go, frowning at her as lock on the door to the bar snicks open and a middle aged man with thick brown/grey hair and beard ambles in through it. 

“What on earth have I walked into this time?” He asked with an amused tone.

“Me being assaulted.” Dean mutters and Becky laughs.

“Well I didn’t help you start this place just so you could staff it with your friends and make a mockery of the bar business. And I certainly didn’t drive out here to Roseville just to sit around.” Mick scolds. He tries to keep a straight face, but ends up guffawing at the annoyed look on Dean’s. “Calm down you grump. I’ll help Beck finish stocking the bar. How about you take a load off.”

Dean reluctantly takes a seat at the bar as Becky and Mick finish in the back room. He taps his fingers against his collarbone, feeling more anxious than usual for some reason. He sighs, rubbing the back of his neck and decides to wipe down the already clean booths with a rag. He hasn’t let anyone know the sleepless nights he’s had over the last week and how he would come down from his apartment over the bar to spend the night cleaning or reworking already correct invoices just to pass the time. Something kept nagging at the back of his consciousness and he just couldn’t figure out what. 

“All done, boss!” Becky proclaims, startling him out of his reverie. 

“Thanks, Becks.” He responds, giving a table one last pass with the rag. He walks to the door, unlocking it for the public and switching on the neon sign above it. “Moxley’s is open for business.”


	4. Chapter 4

**McMahon Industries HQ Los Angeles, CA**

**Tuesday Afternoon**

“This is unacceptable!” The tall dark haired woman screeched as the two short men in front of her mahogany desk winced. 

“Boss, we’re sorry. The last spy _did_ last longer than the others..” one of them said in a thick southern accent, trailing off nervously as the woman stared daggers at him.

“I don’t care! I poured a lot of money into this initiative and what do I get?! _Nothing_! Not one piece of good intel, or even a blueprint of some of their ongoing projects. Not even anything about their new isotope! And you two idiots just sit there making excuses.”

“W-we can try to find another spy…” he tried.

“No! No...this needs something with less of a lighter touch. I’ve tried the usual corporate espionage and gotten nowhere. Time for something less...delicate. I’ll crush Astro X another way than just their bottom line if I have to.”

The two men in front of her swallowed apprehensively.

“What were you thinking, Boss?” the smaller of the two asked, his voice syruped with an even thicker Southern accent. 

“Get me Big Show. And that other man...Viper?” She answered

The two men blanched.

“Ms. McMahon, do you think that’s a good idea?” the smaller man asked

“Of course it is, Noble!” Stephanie McMahon snapped. “If trying to steal from Astro - X won’t work, then maybe sabotage will. I want them in my office by the end of the day. You and Mercury call them. I have another meeting to get to.”

Noble and Mercury exchanged glances and left the opulent office, carefully closing the door behind them. 

“It’s more than just wantin’ to take over Astro X, isn’t it?” Jamie asked, scratching the back of his head. “Ever since I got hired on here she’s been chomping at the bit to take them out.”

Joey nodded. “You know that situation with the Sharknado pods failing last year? The...fire-nado and hail-nado and stuff?”

“Yeah.”

“Well Vince McMahon, uh..that’s her dad, was in Las Vegas when that sandstorm tornado happened and he..well...he didn’t make it.”

“Damn, really?”

“Yeah.” Joey said solemnly. “Got flattened by a flying mini cooper.”

“Gosh, wow.”

“She blames Astro X for it cause their pods couldn’t take it out, though it ain’t really their fault. But now that they have that new isotope that can pretty much take out anything, she wants the technology.”

“That’s some heavy shit. I dunno, if it was my dad I might blame them too.” Jamie mused as they stopped at a bank of elevators.

Mercury shrugged. “Yeah, well, she’s kinda...evil...ya know? Like her daddy was a hard, vicious man. So she’s a hard, vicious woman. And her dad dying...that kinda took out what niceness she had left. Let’s just try to get back on her good side. Isn’t good for our health to stay on her bad.”

They stepped into an elevator, taking it down to the 14th floor.

“T-there’s no way in hell I’m calling that Viper guy.” Jamie Noble exclaimed. “That’s on you for not backing me up with her, Joey.”

“Oh come on!” Joey Mercury whined. “That Orton dude is crazy!”

“Yeah, well. At least you have a chance with him if he gets mad. Big Show could tear me apart with one hand!”

Joey huffed and made a face. “Fine, I’ll call the guy. I mean I know Steph is chompin’ to get one over on Astro - X. But these guys...they aren’t meant for anything but putting the hurt on people.”

“I wouldn't want to be anyone at Astro - X right now.” Jamie shuddered. “What do you think Steph is gonna have them do?” 

“Something I hope we have nothing to do with.”

Jaime Noble nodded and opened the door to their office. “All in a days work.”

Mercury snorted and followed him into the office, letting the door shut with a muted thunk behind him.

* * *

The two men were relieved that their calls resulted in two terse “yeses” and they found themselves nervously meeting the men in the front lobby several hours later. The elevator ride to the top floor which housed Stephanie McMahon’s office was filled with a silent tension that had Mercury and Noble sweating. They ushered the two larger men into her office, hoping to slip away afterwards, but a short “Stay.” from their boss kept them standing awkwardly behind the two big men who had settled themselves in the plush chairs in front of her desk.

“Gentleman. I appreciate you coming on such short notice. I have a proposition for you that I think you will enjoy.” She paused, but at no response from Orton or Big Show, she continued. “I want to take out Astro X. I was hoping through corporate espionage, to steal their product plans, their research and development models and cut them out of their profits. That has not been successful. Now I’m going to do it in a more...hands on approach. They almost didn’t survive the debacle last year, with all the bad publicity it garnered. But with plenty of PR, excuses, and help from that idiot they call a hero, Fin Shepard, they pulled themselves from the brink. But I don’t think they could survive another disaster like that. And that’s just what I want you to create.”

“Specifics. And the pay.” Orton grunted. Big Show nodded slowly in agreement.

“I want you to sabotage the Astro pods. Considering the California coast just seems itching to make Sharknados at the slightest whisper of wind these days, sabotaging a few of those pods should lead to a few Sharknados on the mainland. Take out the one here and the two in San Diego. That should give plenty of opportunity to cause some havoc. If Astro X or anyone else tries to stick their noses into what you’re doing, take them out. By any means necessary. Eighteen thousand each for a few days work.”

“Twenty five.” Big Show rumbled.

“Twenty and if the Sharknados cause a particularly impressive amount of damage I would be willing to make it twenty two.”

Big Show and Orton exchanged glances and the smaller man gave a small nod.

“Joey Mercury and Jamie Noble, my security managers, will go with you. They will be my eyes and ears and will be your drivers.”

The two men gulped as the steady, cruel eyes of the seated men raked over them. 

Orton gave a dismissive snort and turned back to Stephanie. “We start tomorrow?”

“I’d like you to start on Thursday. Drive down today, take tonight and Wednesday to scout the area, then start Thursday morning. I’ve arranged for adjoining suites at the Fairmont Grand del Mar. Go with J&J, make preparations, then start first thing.”

“Good enough for us.” Big Show said, getting up from his chair.

They both shook Stephanie’s hand.

“Mercury, Noble. Take one of the unmarked company cars. I want reports every half an hour. Use my personal line.”

“Yes Boss.”

The four men left the room, Noble making sure to carefully and quietly close the door behind them.

Stephanie stood up abruptly from her chair and turned to face the bank of windows that gave her a view over the city skyline to the waters of the Pacific Ocean.

“This is for you, dad.” She murmured, her hands briefly clenching at her side before she sighed, sat down again and got back to work.

* * *

**Tuesday Late Afternoon ******

Jaime nervously drove through traffic, trying to drive as smoothly as possible. He wasn’t sure what might set off either of the two men who were quietly glowering in the back seat, but he didn’t want to find out. Both he and Joey had tried some small talk which had not gone over well, and the car had soon devolved into an awkward silence. 

Both the southern men were relieved when they finally reached their destination, providing the keys to an eager valet and ushering the two imposing men to their adjoining suites. They both let off a sigh of relief after the door to their own, much less opulent, hotel room was closed.

“Orton said 5 to go out and start scouting, right?” Joey asked, flopping himself down on one of the double beds and loosening his tie.

“Yeah. In 43 minutes.” Jamie responded, rummaging through the mini bar. “And you’re driving.”

Joey sighed. “I’ll drive. Just don’t you go getting rip roaring drunk.”

“Just taking the edge off.” Jamie promised, taking a sip out of a tiny bottle of rum. 

“Yeah, and ten minutes from now that ‘taking the edge off’ is gonna involve you drunkenly singing show tunes.” Joey responded, unimpressed.

“Hey! Chicago is a modern _classic_!”

“You do not do ‘All that Jazz’ justice.” 

* * *

Big Show gave one loud knock to the door that joined Orton’s then opened it, walking in on the younger man cleaning a Walther PPK, a number of other weapons laid out in neat rows on the table in front of him. 

Show raised an eyebrow. “You think this will all be necessary?” 

“Who knows who we’ll come across. And if we might get close to a Sharknado, well...I like being prepared.” 

“That’s fair. I should probably bring ‘baby’ along.” 

Orton snorted. “I can’t believe that’s what you call it.” 

“Hey!” Big Show said defensively. “I needed something custom made to fit in these.” He held out his massive hands, flexing them proudly. 

“Well, you didn’t have to call the damn gun ‘baby’.” Orton pointed out, finishing his cleaning and setting the PPK down next to the others. “For the reconnaissance I don’t think I’ll need much.” 

“Just take the Beretta.” 

Orton nodded shortly. “So what do you think about all this?” 

Big Show grinned. “Twenty thousand to cause as much death and destruction as possible? My kind of deal.” 

“I still think she low balled us.” 

“Eh, Twenty is pretty fair. Plus, you know we owed her old man a couple, Randy.” 

Randy grunted, glancing at his Breitling watch. “Almost five.” He stood up, carefully setting the rest of his weapons in a custom hard top suitcase, locking it and sliding it under the bed. He placed his Beretta in a concealed pocket in his coat and shrugged it on. “Where are the midgets?” 

Big Show gave a bark of laughter just as a hesitant knock came from the door. 

“Watch this.” He said, giving Orton a wink. 

Jamie gave a low gasp as the door opened quickly, the intimidating view of Big Show’s chest filling his eye line. He looked up slowly, meeting the big man’s eyes. 

“We’re-” he squeaked, then cleared his throat. “We’re ready to go if you are, gentleman.” 

The two men gave him a nod and followed him down the hallway to the elevator. He wasn’t sure, but it almost seemed like Big Show gave Orton a look that made the smaller man chuckle slightly. Jamie shook his head. He must be going crazy. 


	5. Chapter 5

**Tuesday Evening**

Dean gave a little sigh as he poured two beers. It had been a really busy night at Moxley’s. Which was good for the business but tiring for him as he still felt twinges of some unknown anxiety which kept him up at night. Becky had started to notice more and her mother hen-ing, though covered with a heavy layer of puns, made him feel a little guilty. He didn’t need to be bringing other people down into whatever neurosis had taken over his mind lately. He glanced down the bar and gave a little smile at seeing Becky swaying to the music of the live band, a rather odd outfit that called themselves 3MB, as she poured drinks and retrieved greasy, but delicious, bar food that Mick was preparing in the back 

He handed off the beer to the customer, a tall tan imposing man who scowled at him and roughly thrust his credit card into Dean’s hand. ‘Asshole.’ Dean thought idly as the man talked into a cell phone that seemed glued to his ear. "Create a tab.” The man growled before stomping off to his table, where his paler dark haired companion sat. Sami, sitting at his usual stool at the bar, raised an eyebrow as the man left. 

"Seems like he had a bad day.” 

"Or maybe is just a jackass.” Dean responded, giving his friend a lopsided grin. 

“Could be that too.” Sami said, smiling into his Shirley Temple. 

“Want me to freshen that up for ya, buddy?” 

“I’m good.” 

“Hey, when is your lover boy getting here?” Dean asked, a teasing grin on his face. 

Sami flushed. “Finn’s not my...well...he’s kind of my…” 

“He’s totally ‘your’. And you two are adorable together.” A friendly voice replied from down the bar. 

Sami stuck out his tongue. “You are not helping, Becks.” “Wasn’t supposed to be.” She snarked as she disappeared in the back to get more ice. 

Sami huffed. “Don’t know why I keep coming here just to be insulted by you lot.” He gave a moody sip of his Shirley Temple. 

"It’s ‘cause we’re adorable too.” Dean deadpanned. “And you can’t resist adorable shit.”

The door to the bar opened and in came a big tall blonde, with a slightly shorter bald headed man behind him. 

“Jack, Toni! Help save me from this trouble maker.” Sami pleaded. 

The two men laughed and joined the small group at the bar. 

"I’m not sure Jack will be of much help.” The shorter man said in pleasant, accented voice. “He’s just as much the troublemaker as Dean, though he tries to hide it.” 

The big blonde gasped, mock offended. “My very own husband, the love of my life, saying such cruel things about me. I can’t believe this.” 

"It is cruel.” Dean nodded, pouring the usual for both men. “I can’t believe my..” 

He was interrupted by the grumpy man again, who slammed down his beer glass.

"Another of the same.” 

"Comin’ right up.” Dean said amiably pouring another for the man, who stalked off again. But this time the man wasn’t looking where he was going, and tripped himself over the leg of Sami’s barstool. His glass went flying and shattered, half the beer soaking his shirt, the rest puddling on the floor. He turned and glared daggers at Sami.

"What the hell was that, paper boy?! Tripping me?” He snarled, flicking the brim of Sami’s hat.

"You tripped over the leg of my stool. I didn’t trip you.” Sami said evenly, though his face flushed.

“Hey man, it was an accident. How about I get a towel for ya and refill that beer on the house.” Dean offered, as his mind said ‘Paper boy?!’ and helpfully suggested he punch the guy in the face. His better self was not in the mood for an altercation, so he restrained himself. A glance around the room showed a number of the bar patrons were staring at the growing disturbance.

"Why don’t you apologize, perro!” The man responded, shoving Sami and completely ignoring Dean’s peacekeeping efforts.

Jack stood up. “That’s enough. Back off, man.”

"Who the hell do you think you are? Can't tell me what to do.” The man sneered as the paler man who was with him sauntered up to the group.

"There a problem here, Alberto?” He asked, a strong British accent coloring his words . 

“This paper boy tripped me.” 

Dean tried one last ditch effort. “It was just an accident, your friend here tripped over a stool.” 

"Tripped you?!” Shouted the British man, completely ignoring Dean. 

Now Toni and Jack were standing up, bristling at the two instigators.

Dean was done trying to plead with the two men. "I don’t want any trouble in here. Leave.” he growled.

“Fuck you, perro.” Alberto snarled and launched himself over the bar.

“I _so_ didn’t need this tonight!” Dean groaned as he ducked a punch and threw one of his own. 

He glanced over when he heard a cry of pain from Sami, letting down his guard, and went down hard from a punch.

“Fucking bastard!” He heard faintly through ringing ears and the sound of shattering glass.

He shook his head to clear it and a few moments later a firm, slim arm helped him up and he stood face to face with Becky. He noticed both the attackers were gone; Sami, Jack and Toni were settling themselves back at the bar chattering animatedly. There was an air of adrenaline in the room, but the rest of the patrons seemed to be calming down, and a low buzz of conversation started back up.

"What the hell happened?”

Becky chuckled a little. “Well, when that idiot punched you I kind of saw red...so I hit him over the head with a bottle of Goose Island 312. His...friend dragged him out of here, threatening to set a lawyer on us.”

“Good luck,” Dean grumbled. “We have security cameras that will show the whole thing if they want to try.”

Becky surveyed his face. “I’m going to wrap some ice in a towel. You may be getting a bit of a shiner there, boss.”

Dean groaned. “Oh, how wonderful. What else could go wrong?

**Author's Note:**

> So if you are not familiar, the Sharknado movies are terrible made for tv movies made by the SyFy channel. They deal with tornadoes that get infested with sharks in various ridiculous ways that then wreak havoc on the US. The movies are chock full of cameos, and a couple wrestlers have had some, including Seth Rollins in the latest installment. In it his character was referred to as Astro Tech Lopez, which is why I'm using that rather than his in ring last name for this fic. I would suggest maybe taking a quick gander at wikipedia for more info if you would like it.
> 
> Astro X, the company that his character works for, created a "pod" that can give off radio waves that defuse the tornadoes. Please be aware of the tags and that these films are notorious with killing off people in ridiculous ways...so be prepared for some carnage.


End file.
